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Mar 20, 2013 16:23:01 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 20, 2013 16:23:01 GMT -5
Well, the essay is due tomorrow, so I'm finishing it up today. I just have 3 more paragraphs to write, which I am about to get on right now. (Even though I am so exhausted and falling asleep as I sit here. Sigh)
The Spanish presentation was just a blur, also. I don't remember saying anything and yeah. All I know is that I was nervous and sweaty. Probably got a good grade too.
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Mar 20, 2013 17:00:07 GMT -5
Post by Princess of Promise on Mar 20, 2013 17:00:07 GMT -5
Oh. *feels a bit stupid* XD
I'll try to help but K is just so much more helpful than me with this crap :XD:
Ironic that we start on Imperialism right after spring break (which is next week)
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Mar 20, 2013 17:36:25 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 20, 2013 17:36:25 GMT -5
 Well, have fun learning! Imperialism is actually pretty darn interesting. The way people perceived themselves back then or what punishments were given to the natives was quite repulsive to read about. I shook my head a lot out of disappointment for the human race. It's just peculiar how we've gotten to where we are, which is a bit more peaceful- at least I think so. I wonder how everything would have gone if Imperialism had never happened and people just stuck to their own lands. What are you learning at the moment, Sammeth? Before I started Imperialism, I think I was learning about Capitalism, Socialism, and Communism. |
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Mar 20, 2013 17:43:32 GMT -5
Post by kueller917 on Mar 20, 2013 17:43:32 GMT -5
The effects of Imperialism are very strong on us actually. Think of the situation in Iraq, where the US felt like it had the obligation to help liberation even though there was also stuff in it for us (oil, diplomacy, etc.). And there's still a very limited mindset in a lot of people, like thinking everything below the border is Mexico and everything overseas is socialist dictatorships. Sure, we're not going out and directly invading counteies (I think that's hard to now in a globalized world) but the imperialist countries still have the mindset of imperialist countries.
You kinda notice this superiority in other countries like Britain and Japan that also had massive empires in the past.
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Mar 20, 2013 18:02:43 GMT -5
Post by Princess of Promise on Mar 20, 2013 18:02:43 GMT -5
Haley: We're on the Industrial Revolution in our World History class. Because of this, we spent two days talking about how communism essentially originated in England.
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Mar 20, 2013 18:13:06 GMT -5
Post by kueller917 on Mar 20, 2013 18:13:06 GMT -5
Marx was also a part of that (Germany).
Although it was never actually used until Russia.
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PBB '12
Mar 20, 2013 18:51:23 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 20, 2013 18:51:23 GMT -5
K: I guess that's right to consider. I know Imperialism is actually still proceeding on, in this day in age, even after many countries have received their independence. Though some of the countries who have gained their independence still are impacted by Imperialism and may configure to the principles it offers. [Kind of what I'm talking about in my essay, actually ]. But I get what you're saying. And it may be just me, wrongfully thinking the world has a bit more peace than it used to, but I think that's because I'm not entirely exposed to all of the bad. I hardly watch the news to see what political uproars are occurring overseas and even in this country. I just don't really care because it's not like I'll make a difference to those things. I'm not saying I don't care that war is going on and people are dying in large numbers everyday, because I do care in case I didn't sound like I was. I'm just not there to experience it and therefore it doesn't feel real to me- like it's not as terrible as it actually is. ... if I'm making sense at all, there Sammeth: Oh, that was another very interesting topic I learned! I think that was the section I did the best on for my test out of the whole school year, so far :rolleyes: and K, again: I remember Marx  |
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Mar 20, 2013 18:53:10 GMT -5
Post by Princess of Promise on Mar 20, 2013 18:53:10 GMT -5
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Mar 20, 2013 19:07:43 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 20, 2013 19:07:43 GMT -5
Sammeth: To anyone.. I'm having trouble with the third paragraph of this essay, considering it is the meatiest one of all five. There is so much to say, and I'm just having trouble on trying to structure how I want the facts to flow. I need to do a lot of revising, I think. Anyways, I'll post what I have so far, down below: The start of Imperialism in Africa began when King Leopold II of Belgium made treaties to own land in the continent, and he had taken control over the Congo. His method was to imply that he would initiate some reformations, such as abolishing slavery, to gain the trust of the natives. However, he did not act on his word. Instead, the motivations for Imperialism called out to him, for apparently they were much stronger than the pleas of the natives, and using manipulative tactics, he inflicted horrific impacts upon the Congo. The impulses were based off of The White Man's Burden and Social Darwinism. The White Man's Burden, which was written by Rudyard Kipling, stated the supposed responsibility of the white race to provide care for their non-white subjects. What I want to do is try to morph the sentence about how King Leopold II wanted to abolish slavery in the Congo and with White Man's Burden, considering that was mainly what he was using to motivate his actions. Then after fixing that, I was thinking of putting in a quote from the White Man's Burden, itself, considering my teacher handed us a copy of it to read for homework a while ago. If someone could help, I'd appreciate it very much, as always. I'll do the best I can at the moment considering it is my essay and responsibility. |
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Mar 20, 2013 20:11:30 GMT -5
Post by Princess of Promise on Mar 20, 2013 20:11:30 GMT -5
god I would but mother just told me to go to bed :/
Good luck Haley :3
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Mar 20, 2013 20:13:53 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 20, 2013 20:13:53 GMT -5
Well, I changed some things up on my own. As for the quote, I can't find one that would fit in well, so I'll just put a quote to something, somewhere else. Here's my revised version of the paragraph: The start of Imperialism in Africa began when King Leopold II of Belgium made treaties to own land in the continent, and he had taken control over the Congo. His method was to imply that he would initiate some reformations, such as abolishing slavery, to gain the trust of the natives. This impulse was based off of the White Man's Burden, which was written by Rudyard Kipling. The White Man's Burden stated the supposed responsibility of the white race to provide care for their non-white subjects. However, King Leopold II did not act on his kind word. Instead, the motivation for Imperialism called out to him, for apparently it was much stronger than the pleas of the natives, and using manipulative tactics, he inflicted horrific impacts upon the Congo for his own country's benefits. I still don't think it's very good and much progress at all, but I am trying my best. edit: Goodnight Sammeth  |
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Mar 20, 2013 20:14:54 GMT -5
Post by kueller917 on Mar 20, 2013 20:14:54 GMT -5
Commentary:
-first sentence: flip the 2nd bulk with the first. "...of Belgium took control of the Congo and made treaties to own land...". If that won't make sense (cause I don't know the context) fix it so it does. Point is the last part feels awkward.
-"His method was to imply..." > "He implied..."
-The however sentence was a good transition.
-The "motives for Imperialism" sentence seems pretty vague. You can keep the style of personifying imperialism ("calls out to him") but maybe expand a little bit on what exactly these motives are. Imperialism could be a range of things so maybe something like greed, power, land/culture expansion, anything you can think of that ties in with "Imperialism".
EDIT: Delete what I had cause I see the last few sentences. I'd say maybe try to explain how his motives changed and he harmed the natives, and this was BECAUSE...
Right now you have the motives, then the effects on the natives, and then back to explaining the motives. That might be causing you flow issues. I can't think of a rewrite on the spot, you're going to have to mess around with that, but I think ending that sentence with motives, then going into the actual motives (white man's burden, social darwanism) will flow better.
Last thing - "White Man's Burden, which was written by..." could just be "...Burden, written by...".
That was harder to revise, I can see why you have trouble with it.
EDIT 2: I'm gonna point out this was in response to the first draft. I'm reading the second post now.
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Mar 20, 2013 20:41:03 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 20, 2013 20:41:03 GMT -5
All right, I'm going to work on fixing a couple of things you pointed out now. Thank you so much again!
I have a couple of advice questions, I suppose, that maybe you could help me with.. if you want to.
1) Somewhere in this paragraph I need to mention the Berlin Conference- in which European countries held a meeting to divide up Africa based on geopolitics (an interest in or taking of land for its strategic location or products). Where do you think I should put this in, exactly?
I think I could possibly connect that how after Belgium's success with the Congo the rest of Europe became interested and motivated by the same causes to participate in the Berlin Conference.
2) I think something my teacher would expect of me to put into the Africa explanation is the Boer War (Dutch v.s. British v.s. South Africans for South Africa land). Do you think this should go after the Berlin Conference part if I can somehow transition the two points?
I think this Boer War could somewhat relate to India's Sepoy Mutiny (rebellion of Hindu and Muslim soldiers against the British due to racial/religious tension). I don't know... I need to think further about the connections, but this is just a starting point.
and yeah.
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Mar 20, 2013 21:00:22 GMT -5
Post by kueller917 on Mar 20, 2013 21:00:22 GMT -5
1) Now I'm kinda doing a shot in the dark here cause I don't have the whole essay in context, but if you're going to add it the Berlin Conference should have two things tied into it:
1. Europe's desire to expand was what sparked the scramble for Africa. You have this down by explaining the Congo takeover beforehand, and
2. The fact that Africans were never taken into consideration during the conference and that attitude continued during the entire imperialism era. This could be connected to the White Man's Burden and the flaws in the ideology you started to touch upon in the other paragraph.
2) Depending on how much you get about the Boer War, it could be used as its own paragraph to transition from Africa to India.
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Mar 20, 2013 21:11:38 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 20, 2013 21:11:38 GMT -5
That seems about right. Okay, so even though you're not receiving the entire context, you actually assured me a lot on what I had just begun writing and nearly finishing, so I thank you again. I actually just connected how the Africans were not valued to Social Darwinism. This was added in very close to the Berlin Conference. So, I'm progressing along. I still think my transitions/flow need improvement, but you've provided me enough already as it is. It's basically just my fault because I'm rubbish at doing that. In the end, once the entire essay is done, I'll probably fix things ups the best I can. Here's what I have (some things I kept the same, you may notice, just for my benefit at the moment, but I'll probably change a couple of things based upon what you said later): The start of Imperialism in Africa began when King Leopold II of Belgium made treaties to own land in the continent, and he had taken control over the Congo. His method was to imply that he would initiate some reformations, such as abolishing slavery, to gain the trust of the natives. This impulse was based off of the White Man's Burden, written by Rudyard Kipling. The White Man's Burden stated the supposed responsibility of the white race to provide care for their non-white subjects. However, King Leopold II did not act on his kind word. Instead, the motivation for Imperialism called out to him, for apparently it was much stronger than the pleas of the natives, and using manipulative tactics, he inflicted horrific impacts upon the Congo for his own country's benefits. This accomplishment of Belgium had spurred up the other European countries and the impulses had grown onto them. A meeting was advised to "cut up" Africa based on geopolitics, an interest in or taking of land for its strategic location or products. This was called the Berlin Conference, and Africans were not allowed to attend, meaning, they were powerless and unvalued. This is an example of Social Darwinism, another impulse of Imperialism, in which some people, the white-skinned Europeans in this case, were considered superior to the natives by genes. I'll try to include the Boer War, but looking back at my notes, I don't see any blatant relations to India, so I may keep it out. Hmm... |
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