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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 21:37:42 GMT -5
Post by kueller917 on Mar 19, 2013 21:37:42 GMT -5
If it's just a paragraph I should have time (I don't think I can take much more studying anyways, been up since 10am almost non-stop).
And yes Em, read back. It's PB essay help time.
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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 21:46:50 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 19, 2013 21:46:50 GMT -5
For anyone.. I edited my post on the last page.** K: well, concerning the edit on my last paragraph, that needs to be looked at before I even start the second paragraph. No one really needs to help out with that, but I was just wondering what anyone thought about it. Also, I'm sorry about you having finals. I've never experienced having a final yet, but I soon will... but yeah, I don't want to keep you up  You deserve a good rest considering you must've studied a lot. Sammeth: TOMO GIF  |
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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 21:49:24 GMT -5
Post by kueller917 on Mar 19, 2013 21:49:24 GMT -5
Honestly, unless you think your teacher will literally flip their shit at being liberal about structure, I'd try it like this
Pre-colonial Africa
Pre-colonial India
Africa under control
India under control
post-colonial Africa
post-colonial India
Shorter paragraphs of course, but I think keeping both countries in one could get really bloated really fast.
Variations are fine.
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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 21:54:49 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 19, 2013 21:54:49 GMT -5
Thank you, again Well... I think I'll try to get as much as I can in just one paragraph, and if it looks strange, or the thoughts/facts do not flow, I'll just make another paragraph. After all, it says on the paper: at LEAST three supporting body paragraphs. OK... going to work quickly but carefully! You may sleep, if you'd like. Again, I'd feel terrible to keep you up. You could always check back tomorrow, if you really want to. If not, then I should be done in about 30 minutes. |
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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 22:02:45 GMT -5
Post by kueller917 on Mar 19, 2013 22:02:45 GMT -5
It's 8pm here  I'll be up for a while. |
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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 22:06:14 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 19, 2013 22:06:14 GMT -5
Well, all right  I'd usually be worn out by 8 on a school night, but there was a 2-hour delay this morning because the snow came back again :rolleyes: Therefore, I got to sleep a bit later than usual. *back to paragraph* |
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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 22:12:25 GMT -5
Post by kueller917 on Mar 19, 2013 22:12:25 GMT -5
I go to sleep at midnight.
Last year of high school I went to sleep at like 2am (I got a bit tired by the end of the year though because of that).
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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 22:15:27 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 19, 2013 22:15:27 GMT -5
All right, there actually wasn't much to say for this paragraph. I never really had much background knowledge of the regions, so I put a good amount without over-doing it. Here it is, anyways: Comparing Africa and India again- they had similar pre-colonial nations. Both regions had strong cultural values and abundant natural resources. Africa contained such diverse tribes, such as the Hutu, Tutsi, and Zulu peoples. Africa was also glorified for its rubber in the Congo, and gold and diamonds in South Africa. India was known to have a sufficient amount of cotton, but also tea, coffee, jute, and opium. These resources had intrigued European countries for they could not manufacture these products. This had turned into one of the many motivations for the Europeans to imperialize Africa. Edit: I'm usually up late because homework takes forever to complete.. Actually no- my school just gives too much. But yeah, young sir, you must get your beauty sleep. If you have the chance to sleep early, take it! |
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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 22:20:44 GMT -5
Post by kueller917 on Mar 19, 2013 22:20:44 GMT -5
Once again, commenting as I read.
- First sentence, "African and India had similar...". When in doubt, the more straightforward you can get the better. The rest of the paragraph is good at this.
-maybe a transition sentence into India part. "India also had abundant resources" or something like that but better.
-"had intrigues European countries that could not manufacture..." also sounds nicer. Also might want to include that greed was the underlying tone in wanting resources, especially if you're going to include the parts about how Europe disregarded the natives in their search for resources.
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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 22:32:37 GMT -5
Post by wtfhoward on Mar 19, 2013 22:32:37 GMT -5
Very well
Lord have mercy at first I typed very well.com.
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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 22:38:21 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 19, 2013 22:38:21 GMT -5
Good point at the end! I just included how Europe was greedy for wanting the resources, etc.  I fixed everything else except for the transition into where it says India's prized products. I tried a couple different ways of changing it up, but every way I tried, it didn't sound right. I used your example as something to build off of, as well, but then I noticed in other sentences I kept reusing some of the same words. I don't think my teacher should care much about that point flowing, though, so I'll leave it alone. Thank you, again, K. It's great to have a buddy to help me out with this stuff. Essays always seem to be so easy when I first approach them, but once I actually try typing one up, everything gets so frustrating and lots of "what if I do this?" and "how should I do that?"s pop up. Yeah Em: My goodness |
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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 22:48:54 GMT -5
Post by kueller917 on Mar 19, 2013 22:48:54 GMT -5
Yeah I know. I actually have a lot of trouble with essays for that same reason.
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PBB '12
Mar 19, 2013 23:01:40 GMT -5
Post by Chidorifool101 on Mar 19, 2013 23:01:40 GMT -5
Well, you seem to be better at overcoming those problems than me Anyways, I am off to bed. It is midnight, and I have a long day tomorrow. (Dang Spanish presentation; History test). Goodnight, all! *huggles* |
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PBB '12
Mar 20, 2013 0:26:20 GMT -5
Post by wtfhoward on Mar 20, 2013 0:26:20 GMT -5
G'night! Good luck with school!
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PBB '12
Mar 20, 2013 16:06:14 GMT -5
Post by Princess of Promise on Mar 20, 2013 16:06:14 GMT -5
So..how'd the essay go with your teacher?
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You deserve a good rest considering you must've studied a lot.
